A big shout-out to my sister-in-law for this… Being the classic fretful wife that she is, when I told her I was going to see my doctor for a check-up she made me promise I’d also ask him about getting a colonoscopy — which men, according to her, are supposed to get when they’re 40.
Turns out I’m not due to get a balloon inflated up inside my ass until my 50th birthday (that’ll be a party!), but only because I mentioned it to my doctor he added occult blood to some labwork I’m supposed to get done. And no, that doesn’t mean I have to draw a pentagram on the floor, pray to Satan and prick my finger — I wish!
Instead I’ve had to take myself off red meat, fresh fruit and vegetables over the weekend, and for the next three days I get to fish around the toilet bowl and scoop up samples of my poop.
My kit includes three specimen jars, a large tongue depressor, this hazardous materials bag and another brown paper one for the trip to the hospital to drop it all off when I’m done.
I fetched my first sample this morning and am very proud to say that I didn’t get any on my hands — I’m a big kid now 
4 Comments
AC:
I will be reaching the big 4-0 in the next year, too, and I’ve had several people, including my docter, tell me to get the ol pooper shoot checked out.
Can’t help but remember that scene from Fletch featuring “Moon River”….
Ed
Hmmm, don’t remember that one. Maybe I’ll give it another viewing — on my 51st birthday!
Let’s not forget that this activity also carries with it the RISK OF DEATH.
(Unless given by Lou Rawls, in which case it carries a risk of good, sexy times.)
P.S. Quote of the day from yours truly: