Next up for yours truly is a trip around the world this November.
Wait, WHAT?!1!
It’s true! The details are below.
It all started with my desire to ride Singapore Airlines’ A380. You can read how that went by clicking the pic.
Oh, and keep in mind that I’m pretty much reposting this verbatim from The Wahmbulance, so kindly take my whining in the spirit that was intended…
So how was your weekend? I spent mine trying to figure out the best way to blow 100,000 Aeroplan miles…
You see, a regular ’round the world trip on the bullshit club for losers that Air Canada is a part of will usually set you back half a million points, but some nerds on a forum somewhere have figured out a scam to get a baby version of the same fare for a fifth of the points.
The constraints are that you’re only allowed a stop each on the way to and from your destination. But since I’ll never see half a million Aeroplan miles in my lifetime — on account of Aeroplan now erasing them every 7 years (fuckers) — this is probably the best I’ll ever be able to do.
So what’s my lame-ass itinerary? Prepare to be underwhelmed…
- Toronto to London (overnight) – despite being one of the most popular destinations in the world Air Canada has no First Class service, only Business. Losers.
- A day in London – WTF am I going to do there? The Beatles broke up a long time ago, and the new James Bond sucks…
- London to Bangkok (overnight) – This 9-hour ordeal on Thai Airways is the only flight I could get First Class passage on, but I’d be dinged for another 20,000 points — that’s more than 2,000 points each and every hour on board! So I’m stuck in Business, where the seats only recline 170 degrees for sleeping. This is what Auschwitz must have been like…
- Four days in Bangkok – Hmm, single white guy traveling alone… Think INTERPOL is going to be on my ass the whole time, even if all I’m doing is going from my hotel to McDonald’s and back?
- Bangkok to Singapore – on Singapore Airlines in their Business Class. Bullshit.
- Weekend in Singapore – where I’ll forget that I’m not allowed to chew gum and get caned.
- Singapore to Taipei – also on Singapore Airlines, again in Business on some bullshit plane that’s not a double-decker Airbus. Fail.
- Four days in Taipei – Taipei is like Markham if China were Toronto — and if Toronto had an oppressive Communist regime. Whatever the case, what’s the fucking point?
- Taipei to Tokyo – in Business on All Nippon Airways — which I thought had topless flight attendants but doesn’t. Fuck.
- 24 hours in Tokyo – because I just miss my connection to Toronto I have to once again endure my least favourite city in the universe.
- Tokyo to Toronto – on Air Canada in “Executive First” — which equals Business Class, you lying sons of bitches!
So there you have it, two-full weeks of misery around the world, coming to yours truly this autumn if I don’t die of disappointment first…
If you’d like to see the specifics of my trip why not friend me on Dopplr?
