There’s actually not much to report on my 5th day in New Zealand…
I spent the morning exploring the CBD (Central Business District) including this interesting piece of government architecture unaffectionately referred to as the Beehive.
Then it was back to Fidel’s to drag Derek Flores away from the important meeting pictured above. With two other performers we spent most of the afternoon drinking coffee and talking shit. It was awesome!
Technically Wellington Day 0, but New Zealand Day 4 — you know what I mean…
Today could have been the day of not one, not two, but three hot breakfasts if not for my steadfast willpower. I had the usual made-to-order omelette, fruit, yogurt and pastry in my hotel before checking out and heading to the airport. As I entered the Koru Club in the Domestic Terminal at Auckland Airport not even an hour later I was surprised to find another hot breakfast buffet tempting me. I settled for a bottomless cup of long blacks instead.
After touching down in Wellington I was greeted at the gate by local power couple Derek Flores and Fiona Jane Malthus, who immediately asked me: “Wanna to go for breakfast?”
First I had to check in at The Intercontinental Hotel, apparently where visiting rock stars stay. I wonder if they use points too?
En route to breakfast (for Derek; lunch for me) we stopped for a video opp with Wellington’s biggest scandal. Shocking!
Wellington has gone Cuba Crazy! And the best breakfast on Cuba Street is at Fidel’s. Note that even though I made poor Derek pose on the ground by the front door no skulls were smashed as a result of this photo…
Another Wellington landmark is Bats Theatre, a kindred spirit to the Bad Dog back home?
After a quick walking tour covering three of the city’s four quarters my verdict was in. To quote The Fonz: Ayyy!
My final full day in Auckland didn’t turn out quite like I’d hoped it would…
The first of only two big items on my itinerary was to see a Kiwi (bird) at the Auckland Zoo. I guess what happened is that the third straight day of sunny weather brought out all the stupid people and their children, and they arrived en masse at the zoo just moments before me.
World’s largest salt lick? This short video of a tiger was ruined by an oblivious woman who saw it fit to park her fat ass directly in front of my lens. Thanks for that…
Despite signs everywhere asking people not to feed the animals someone thought it would be good for a larf to pour some milk into a crevice in the exotic bird aviary. Hope these poor guys can handle type 2 diabetes!
Because Kiwis are nocturnal the zoo has set up a special indoor habitat to view them. If you think it looks serene, consider that on my side of the netting was a never-ending parade of ugly, stupid urchins repeatedly stating the obvious: “It’s dark, mommy, it’s dark…”
Fortunately the zoo has also fitted a small camera to where the Kiwis nest. Of course if they were really clever they’d stream this on their website thus saving me the twenty-dollar admission and another twenty for the cab ride out there.
But there was another live Kiwi viewing at the Native Fauna Encounter, a daily scheduled event. Here’s the best footage of the bird I could get. It begins and ends rather abruptly because my camera only records video in 30-second increments.
Okay, so here’s video proof that it’s not just me. The trainer had explicitly stated that the animals he was about to reveal were very skittish, and asked for quiet on their behalf. Watch him lose his cool as a trio of little shitbags in the back refuse to sit down and shut the fuck up as asked.
Not 10 seconds after this recording ended the poor frazzled bird ran in terror to the safety of another trainer behind the scenes. And just like that the encounter was over. Awesome.
This was the second big item on my itinerary for the day, a tour of Auckland’s Harbour by boat. Unfortunately the cab stand outside the zoo had somehow disappeared by the time I was ready to leave, so I had to walk out to the highway and catch a bus. And despite way too many stops the driver flew back into the downtown core, but I still managed to miss the last boat of the day by about 3 minutes.
So I drowned my sorrows in a local indulgence and headed back to my hotel in defeat…
Tomorrow it’s on to Wellington, where I may not be posting as regularly due to friends I’ll be visiting with there. I’ll do my best…
