Requiem for Fido (The Pre-Rogers Version)

I still remember the first time I saw a Fido handset. It was some kind of Ericsson, pre-dating the T18z but with a similar design, with an integrated belt clip built into the hardware. Like most Ericsson handsets of the day it was very European and classy, but then Sony bought out their handset business. And while market share increased, that elusive cachet was largely gone.

It’s the same story with Fido; back in the days when Rogers was still a TDMA network, Fido was GSM all the way, and carried the first dual-band handsets that could be used in Europe and parts of Asia.

But then our government inexplicably allowed Rogers to buy a controlling stake in Fido, effectively creating a monopoly on GSM service in this country. For the past few years Fido has languished, with Rogers getting most of the premium handsets for their own portfolio and tossing a bone or two Fido’s way.

As of today Fido has a new logo, and there can be no mistake about its place in the Rogers empire — as Koodo is to Telus and Solo is to Bell, Fido has officially been re-branded as the poor cousin to the “premium” Rogers Wireless.

But it’s not all bad news: To effectively compete in the bottom end of the market Fido has done away with the roundly-criticized System Access Fee, and while their handset lineup will continue to be, well… craptacular, the killer feature of the removable SIM chip — enabling the use of unlocked phones — remains intact.

Though I’m clearly a mobile elitist I’ll be staying loyal to Fido for the foreseeable future — I’m locked in to a pretty damn awesome calling plan and a best-that-can-be-expected-for-Canada deal on data. Still, it does suck that Fido isn’t cool anymore…

What I’ll miss:

• The exclusive handsets, especially my hiptop;
• The European-flavoured ads, courtesy of Fido’s Montreal-based agency;
• Being the envy of fellow Canadian travellers to Europe and Asia.

And not so much:

• The System Access Fee, obviously;
• The small, largely urban calling area before Rogers took over.

What I’ll most remember:

• Driving home from the family cottage and re-acquiring a digital signal just north of Orangeville, Ontario — letting me know I was back in civilization.

Requiem for a Tech Show

Talk about bad timing… Last Friday morning I fired off an email to one of the show’s producers pitching myself as a guest — little did I know that The Lab with Leo had already been cancelled.

As lame as it sounds, The Lab and its predecessor Call for Help have been my dinner date most nights for the past couple of years. And despite the usual suspects phoning in because they can’t check their email or their pirated copy of Windows won’t boot on a ten year-old computer, the show is — sorry, was — actually quite informative. It taught this n00b everything he needed to know about Windows before diving into XP and the WinMo (and subsequently deciding that he liked his Macs better).

The roster of regular in-house guests was impressive, from security expert Steve Gibson to digital photography guru Ray Maxwell. In fact, the only element missing from the show was a dedicated segment on mobile phones. Given that I screen-tested for another Techtv show a few years back I thought I might at least have a chance but alas, it’s too late. Now I’m stuck watching reruns of The Simpsons or, god forbid, the xenophobic fear-mongering that the six o’clock news has become…

What I’ll miss:

1. Everything I ever needed to know about Windows.
2. Similarly useful info about Macs as well.

And not so much:

1. Stupid callers. Lots of them.
2. Fat guys and golf shirts as far as the eye could see. Whether intended or not, every single episode sent a strong subliminal message to its viewers to step away from their computers and go shopping or to the gym.

Requiem for an Analog Mobile Network

And good riddance!

As of this President’s Family Day our friends in the US and A will no longer have nationwide analog cellular service, and “me too” Canada will likely follow suit.

For those of you too young to remember, it’s worth reflecting on just how far mobile technology has progressed in just over a decade. Pardon me while I adjust my bifocals and lean back in my rocking chair…

My first-ever handset was an extravagant birthday gift that ended up being more of a burden than anything else. Even though it was a Nokia (I can’t for the life of me remember the model number) I never used it thanks to Bell Mobility’s prohibitive airtime costs, yet after it was stolen, replaced and then recovered I somehow ended up with two!

Sometime in 1999 I upgraded to the RAZR of its day, the Moto StarTAC seen here. Its bleeding-edge features included a two-line LED screen and a (more or less) unbendable antenna. But by that summer I was trialling my first CDMA phone with Bell, then moved quickly over to clearNET before settling down with Fido and GSM in early 2000.

I did have to endure Bell Mobility’s AMPS network a few more times, though — on tour in Wolfville, Nova Scotia, at the family cottage, and anywhere else Fido hadn’t rolled out their network to yet. For these occasions I strapped a montrous analog sled onto the back of my trusty Nokia 5190, thereby giving up all rights to text messaging and call display.

What I’ll miss: The cheap thrill of reacquiring a digital signal just north of Orangeville on Highway 10, letting me know I was on my way back to civilization.

And not so much: Just about everything else.